Totally Dehydro

The only sucky bit is NewYears day I got so sick. I had a temperature of 100 and the most amazing chest infection ever. Couldn’t breath at all. Didn’t eat for 3 days and had amazing hallucinations consisting of ninjas and SAS guys coming to recruit me for missions that I immediately accepted. At that point Ems thought I should probably go see the doc. She had to dress me while i continued to chat to people who weren’t there and drag me along the street. After a dose of antibiotics I was straight back up the mountain.

Christmas and New Year rocked. Here are some photos for your perusal. Too much debauchery to talk about. What happens on the mountain, stays on the mountain.

As you probably know the snow has been rubbish this season. We get a dump for three days, which is great but in less than a week’s time it’s compact and death trap icy again.
I’d planned a nice day riding by myself. Packed my little bag with tunes, water, mountain snacks and headed of with a massive grin. Blasted down a few greens for a warm up. Headed over to Tignes hit some blues then finished on relaxed reds. The run into La Daille is the first way down the mountain you come to on the way back from Tignes. The only problem with that side of the mountain is its in shadow all day mixed with lack of snow. It’s ok though, I knew there was a blue that should be ok.
Headed off. The first bit wasn’t too bad, came through the tunnel which you have to slam a hard left or you fly full speed into a solid ice wall. After that it all went horribly wrong. The piste was actually shining blue with ice. I looked ahead at a sea of bodies. Not only were people not able to stand up they were actually sliding uncontrollably down the slope on what ever part of there body met the ice first.
SHIT. Was my only thought.
Well, gota do it when your half way down the mountain. Slid the whole way down thinking once I’m past this it’s just the blue the rest of the way. Hmmm? Turned the corner to see the massive sign saying the blue was closed. Ok.
Again started down it fell, fell again, fell some more. Stopped to try to gather my thoughts. As I was sitting there with my tunes on I heard a faint screeching. Turned around to see a lady sliding sideways towards me. Realising if she hit me we’d both not stop till the bottom. I tired to dig the edge of my board into the ice. Think there was about 1mm holding me onto the slope. She came to a stop at which point we both sat there  “What the hell do we do now?”. Thankfully her mates arrived. They fenced her in with their ski poles after loads of heart in throat pants full of poo moments we managed to get to the side and free. It was the longest 20 minutes of my life. We actually kissed the ground when we made it to the bottom.

Emily’s brother Tom came over for a visit and left Emily with a lovely departing gift. We were cruising down Genepy, a cheeky wee green run. I was just behind Em’s and her bro, as usual I had stopped to dick around with gloves, bindings, hat or some other annoying piece of kit. Looked up as Tom lost control. Not wildly it just seemed like they both sat down.
Caught up with them as Emily calmly said “I’ve broken my arm”.
Me being my compassionate and understanding self shouted “Woteveah .Get up you lameass!” Then I saw her arm. It looked like all the bones had been removed. After loads of really mature bleugh gross out noises and helpful jumping around from one foot to the other waving my arms wildly. We packed her arm in snow and rang the hot mountain rescue guys. At this point Emily starts ranting at me “Have you got a bobble? Fix my hair! Fix my hair! The hot skidoo guys are gona be here soon. What’s my mascara like?” She whizzed of shouting “Faster! Faster”. Lunatic.
She had broken the whole top off her radius. Spent the next three days in hospital having three pins inserted into her wrist. Check out the x-rays.

We stroll into our favourite bar Blue Note after an incredibly traumatic day in store. Having to serve one customer took so much out of us. We just couldn’t cope, so pints were calling. When we walked in there were the usual greetings but overly insane smiles. Just thought maybe Matt had added magic mushies to the vin chaud. When I sat down at he bar I saw absolutely everyone had a copy of the mountain echo and Matt grinning like a loony. He walks around the bar and as casually as he can says “Have you eh?, have you managed to have a look at the new copy of the echo yet?”. Knowing full well I haven’t seeing as it only comes out Saturday afternoon, which I always work. “There’s a cool bit on page 24” and hands me a copy.
AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!. It’s about Matt and I !

‘Fat Chicks has Fat Face’
‘Fat Chicks (Very old school nickname for Blue Note’s Matt) has got more than just the first Pacific Bar pool comp under his belt. We hear Sarah from the Fat Face store has also been…ahem, chalked up’.

Totally horrified. He was obviously proud as punch. Every new person through the door, had a copy handed to them open at that page. Thankfully the embarrassment only lasts one week then some one else falls victim to the gossip. Which you’ll hear about later.

Ok, so. Massive apologies for the huge delay. You’ve probably all abandoned me. Here’s four weeks of chat. Hope I can remember it all. Sorry to dad for the first entry.

The beast has indeed been unleashed. Been up the mountain for the last 3 days. It’s absolutly spectacular. I haven’t killed anyone yet. Thankfully i’m doing much better than i thought. Hit a cheeky wee red on the 3rd day. The most exciting thing was going riding all day on my birthday, never gona forget that.

I’d been going on to everyone about how birthdays are done for me now, yawnarama etc. I thought my day on the mountain and a few jars in the eve was enough. So sitting in our favourite bar had a few pints with 2 chums. I’d had 2 pints and was ready for home. My mates kept on ordering more and insisting on me staying. Figured they just wanted to make it a bit more of a night. At pint number 4 i’d had enough, too tired. Said goodbye to my mates, bumped into my flatmate outside. Hmmm? coincidence?.

We got back to our flat where i began wrestling with our door. Emily hadn’t locked the door you guys know me, P’D OFF!. “WE HAVE PUTERS AND BOARDS IN THERE!”. Rant, swear, gesticulate wildly etc. Still swearing we walk in to find 15 of my mates (including the 2 i had just said goodbye to at the bar) all there head to toe in balloons, SURPRISE!!!!. Woops. They’d made a massive 3 course feast and my chum Nigel (who knew he could cook) had made a massive chocolate birthday cake. The best surprise ever. Due to my constant moaning about crap coffee they’d bought me a proper coffee maker with amazing coffee to go with it. Da shit baby. Oh, and french scrabble. Aparently i’m not practising enough.

Anyway here’s a selction of photos to accompany the chat.

Hurrah!. The snow is here again. Think it’s here for good now. In a bar right now, totally pissed so this will probably be a bit lame but better than nada. In Val if your in a group of ladies all guys think it’s fine to come chat, no matter how shit their chat is. We actualy just got “So, do you come here often?”. WHAT?!?!?!?!!?!?!?. Who actualy uses that?. MINGA’S. Harsh yah?

Anyway, were headin up the mountain tomorrow. First unveiling of the beast. Very excited. I will hopefully have some awesome pics of us falling on our arses.

So, jtsu reciieved a call frmo my chum. Apaeerently i ave atrossious spallnig in all ym blogg entrieis. I apologieees and endavuor to improv it in teh futre. Hop sthi is to uyor lickin Alejandro. x

Sorry to everyone for the massive gaps between entries. When i get everything sorted with my flat it should be updated everyday. The snow has gone again so no more madness for a week or so. We did get our quad bike deliverd, it totally rocks!. I dont have a photo of it yet so heres a photo of emily and i to keep you going for now.